I am the mystery

I am the mystery that i seek,

Hoping never it be revealed fully to me.

Drunken, aware and yet grasping each day a lill more

The more i seek it, the more beautiful i become.

The beauty that i see within, is the beauty of thousand lotuses

with an intoxicating fragrance of love unbound

The love which rips my heart open and splits me up into infinite small pieces…

I am…the one on a journey… piecing together the mysterious puzzle

When i started…i was lost, worried n confused whether i will piece it all together…

Now am afraid…that i just might

I want to shun the piecing together

and throw the key into an abyss in which it will be lost forever

I wonder why many mysteries around me are in a hurry

to figure it out.

As i sit by a river and watch my reflection

I smile at it and look in the sky

and the head bows down

And a prayer slips through my heart

“I am the mystery that i seek,

I hope i never figure it out”

– Raah –

(message for the walkers on the “edge” of the lodge)

Stone

Once upon a time, there lived a stone. He was born a stone. He was happy where he was. Some day a “hand” found him.
The hand chiselled the stone, cut it to pieces and made him beautiful. What was beauty for the world was a painful memory for the stone. After a long while stone realised that his soul was more powerful. And ever since then the stone became who it was a stone.
The world today calls him precious, he laughs out aloud and knows that he is still a stone.
He can see that mere mortals crave to possess him and r unaware they can’t possess a stone. They don’t know that stones open their heart to chosen few. To those with open heart.
For everyone, it is just a stone or precious stone. For some it’s a stone with heart. For a Sufi it’s not a stone it is mother’s heart.

Kaise bataye kyun tujz ko chaahe….How do i tell you, why do i love you…;-)

Musings for the mystery that i seek.

The more i seek the mystery of life. The more i fall in love with her. The more she unravells herself, the more i surrender to her.

Once upon a time i wanted to understand her  fully, now i just love to watch her, watch her infinite ways. Watch he elegant play of dark n light that she .

Only one thing i can say about her. She is beautiful n i love her with all my heart.

Meri “Jaan”…tumhaare liye jaan bhi de denge.

Bowin to the mystery. Now as i wait for my next meetin in a nice reception hall. Surrounded by her

Your time here…is getting over

Ever wondered that your time here is getting over. Breath by breath. Minute by minute. When i look around (when am not busy enjoying n making most of each moment ;-), i find that sometime we all live as if we are gonna live eternally.

And I love to live in touch with this awareness all the time. So that i can choose wisely and what is most important to me. It becomes easy to choose and decide which way to move forward. Many ask me for suggestions on best decision to make, especially when caught in catch 22 situations. Here is what i feel…

a. What would you choose if you knew that u have only a week to live n experience this life?

b. Whatever you are afraid of give it a chance and do it. You might discover that u were wrong or right about your fear. In any ways, you will have moved forward. And this intelligent n generous universe ensures that one day you discover that there was nothing wrong with you or your life.

c. If the decision is not easy. Simply toss the coin and take the coins decision as God’s will.

d. Look around. The signs will tell you what you need to choose. Listen to the wind, listen on messages on Billboards. Thats how i chose to quit my last job in US and decided to come to india. When i made a decision in 2006 to head back home after a brief stint in US firm, i told myself that i will look around and will trust the sign. I had the question should I make the decision to go back or stay here? And here comes the hoarding of Nike asking me to Just Do It. And i did. And it made all the difference.

e. If you are unable to sense and feel that your time here is getting over, visit nearest hospital. You will discover how fragile our body n life is which we think will exist forever. That can give you a good perspective on choosing what your heart wants.

 

Soul Magic…your magic

Each one of you, reading these words. Wonder what got you here, what led you to read these words. In that whim, thought, intuition, desire (whatever label you give), there is a secret hidden. The secret of the magic of your soul.

The secret is weaving itself since long. At times you stumble upon it, but you say, its not mine it is because of someone else. You meet gurus, you meet peers, you meet river, you meet child, you meet your friends and also your foes. What i wish to know is how often do you meet yourself?

Your magic can be unfurled only by you, i can help you pick the first thread of the “cloth”. As you pull that thread, further n further the cloth will begin to give in to your pull. And one day the cloth will fall and you will see yourself. Naked. As you are. With all your beauty and all that is you. And then a new love story will start. There will be a beloved and there will be a lover. And they both will dive together. Deeper n deeper in the mystery of love.

In that moment, i will say my job is done now. Now you go and teach this magic to someone else.

If you wish to learn the Soul Magic, you will need to promise to teach one day to someone. At least one. And whoever you teach, take a promise to teach one. Let me know when you are ready. My altar is set, waiting for you to say “yes”. Say yes to learn what you already know but sometimes forget….Soul Magic 😉

Mr. Unhappy meets Mr. happy

An unhappy man to a happy man.

U : Why do u not have worries?
H: I dont know how to live with them. We dont understand each other.
U: Why are you never bothered about security.
H: Because i know there is no such thing exists. If am alive, its a grace. Security is a fantacized by all but experienced only by those who dont seek it.
U: What made you happy?
H: I don't know. Am lucky may be not to believe what happens in my head all the time.
U: How do you let go?
H: Same way, the way i let go security. When you let go you need to let go good with the bad and bad with the good.
U: I know all this and i am still unhappy.
H: I know all this and i am happy.
U: Means happiness is not about what you know.
H: May be. 
U: This gyan sucks
H: Yes i also know this and hence am happy forever LOL
U: This is not fair. How come god made you happy and made me unhappy.
H: I wish i could know that. But am happy and thats why i call grace. Some have it n some don't. Cant help. Sad but true at times.
U: Is there a way i can get happy?
H: Stop asking that question and be happy. See what makes people happy, do them, one day you might stumble upon what makes you happy.
U: i dont believe you.
H: good for you, that way when you find your happiness, you dont need to give me credit. You can say you found a new way to be happy. You can write books about it. Become rich n successful.
U: Wow that makes me happy. Glad i am not listening to you. I am gonna find my own way.
H: My master told me one day, the day you start listening to urself, you become happy.
U: Ohhh no why did you share this.
H: I was kidding. My master didnt say anything like that.
U: (sigh of relief) whoosh...am happy again
H: Wish you all the best dear friend.
Courtsey : Crazy Diamond http://www.facebook.com/pages/Crazy-Diamond-Da-Singing-Mystic/140261019360962

Just Do IT

He says, “I got a question?”

Master says, “Spill it”

“Can you explain to me the science of walking on fire?” He asked.

“No” answers the master.

“I need to know how it happens so that i can do it myself and also do it for others. So please explain how does this work?”

Master : Do it n find out for yourself”

He : “That blazing fire scares me to death”.

Master says : “Sure”

“I don’t think i can do it.”

“Then may be you can’t”

“Won’t you persuade me and motivate me?”

“Why should I? Its your job”

“Then i wont do it.”

“Then don’t”

“What should I do if I have to learn to do it”

“Just Do it and now if you are not going to do it. Let me put the fire at rest. I can’t get her angry because of your fears.”

“If I burn, will you take responsibility?”

Master says “Yes, I will, but you are the one who will have to go through the pain. There if at all you want, I can’t share your pain.”

“You are scaring me. You should help me deal with my fears be understanding of them. You are a master, evaporate my fears”

Master laughs and says “Son, take a walk. You are not meant for it. Go home and sleep. There are thousands of other things to do than walking on fire.”

He gets angry. And starts to walk away. Deeply yearning for the master to stop him and urge him to do it and deal with fears once and for all.

In a moment, he turns around. Walks past the master and suddenly walks through the bed of fire.

Master smiles and asks “How did you do it?”

He says “I don’t know, i just did it”

Master says “See, was telling you, “how” at times is immaterial, whats important is ‘just doing’ it”

He asks “Should i walk through all my fears and you promise, nothing will happen to me.”

Master turns and says “I don’t know. Just do it and see for yourself.”

“What if i get hurt, abused, judged, lose?”

“Then you will feel hurt, abused, judged and lose.”

“Then how will i again risk and overcome my fears”

“I don’t know, my sense is you will figure out a way”

“So whats the best way to deal with your fears after all analysis and seeing pros and cons”

I think then “You just do it.” said the mastered.

Frustrated, angered by the master’s response. He said “Then i am quitting being your apprentice.”

Master says “Please do it. Just do it now”

He is flustered. And he walks away. Master looks at him and looks up in the sky and says “Thank god, for saving me” LOL

 

Kabakth Zindagi…Dedicated to Ethan Mascarenhas of Guzaarish

Saw “Guzaarish” today. And felt a deep wrenching in my heart. Left the theatre disturbed. Felt deeply stirred and somehow i had to find my center again.

Had to spill out these words…to set myself free again. Selfish, heartless me…Concerned with only one thing. How do I feel at ease again? But i guess am just another human with little longing to feel at ease again.

Its written in hindi…so english readers please pardon or ask your friends who know hindi to translate it for you. Am in no state to do that atleast right now…

This poem is dedicated to Ethan Mascarenhas and what he must have felt at different times especially closer to his death…the lead character of the film.

……….

Kambakth Zindagi

Kabhi bewakqt, bin bataaye dil main chhura ghonpati

Toh kabhi thandi pawan se man ko sehalaati

Kabhi dard ke saaye me duboti,

Khudki karaah, khud hi ko sunane main majboor karati.

Toh kabhi khushiyon ki bearish main geela karati.

Jannat ki sair, sare aam din main karaati.

 

Jitna bhi chaahu tujhe jaanana,

Utnahi mujhe uljhaati.

Kambakth Zindagi.

 

Kabhi apane raaz kholati,

To kabhi sawaalon ke ghere main gira deti,

Kabhi maut koh achaanak le aati

Toh kabhi maut ke liye tarsaati.

 

Jitna bhi chaahu tujhe jaanana,

Utnahi mujhe uljhaati.

Kambakth Zindagi

 

Jab bhi khadaa hota hoon aramaan dil main jagaakar

Toh kabhi giraati,

Toh kabhi sapanon ko sach banakar hawaaon se baate karaati

Kabhi todti, marodati, maarati berahami se

Toh kabhi aansu chalakaati pyaar ke ummad se.

 

Saali zindagi.

Tu kiski kabhi hui nahin hain abtak

Pata nahin kabhi kisike hone ki tamanna bhi hain ke nahin tere dil main

 

Jitna bhi chaahu tujhe jaanana,

Utnahi mujhe uljhaati.

Kambakth Zindagi

 

Tu hogi bahoot khubsurat,

Aur laakho peer  honge teri meher ke aashna,

Lekin ab maut ko maashuq banaane ki tamanna rakhta hoon

Uske meethe kaale saaye main chup chaap sona chaahta hoon.

Agar hain himmat to bachaa le, apne wajood ko mere Jism se.

Aur baandh kar rakh mujhe apane daaman se.

Dekhata hoon aaj kaun jitata hain

Na-maalum tu, ya lachaar main.

 

Kabakth zindagi,

Agar kabhi sadak par milogi jannat ke,

Toh pehele to chura ghopunga tere dil main.

Hath pair tod ke bitha dunga ek kursi par.

Aur phir bataaunga ke jeena kaise hota hain.

Jab khelati ho tum humse.

 

Jitana mere paas aaogi,

Toh dekhkar meri tadap khauff khaaogi.

Main laachaar aur adh-murdaa zaroor hoon

Lekin fir bhi aaj tujh par maat karane ke mansube rakhta hoon

Naa jaane kitannon ne tumse maut ki guzaarish ki hogi.

Aur kitane lachharon par tu hansi hogi.

 

Saali kambakth zindagi

Sirf ekhi tamanna rakhana.

Kabhi galti se bhi mujhse mulakaat na karna.

Chal hat,

Kambakth Zindagi.

Kabhibhi, kabhibhi mujhe paane ki khwaish na rakhana.

 

 

What are dreams made of?

Dreams show up mostly when you are either half asleep or fully awake.

Made up of some thoughts, feelings or strong urges.

Everyone dreams,
But due to their suddenness very few believe them.

Those who do are called little crazy and eccentrics because it is rare in humans to trust their dreams.

For most focus on how its not possible and very few are mad (sane:) enough to believe that they are possible.

Dreams show up sometimes from different dimensions. Holding precious information.

However, very few engage with them, rest dismiss them by saying…”Forget it, its just a dream”

For me dreams have been callings to expand who I am and create a new me. And each dream I madly pursued made me more. Each dream fulfilled or unfulfilled helped me know that I am, always little more than what I have already discovered about myself.

However it seems I am getting old, I am being choosy about my dreams. Some dreams I have burried and now the worldly wisdome that I have gathered seems to be telling me which dreams are worth following.

When I was very young, I could dream of anything, not anymore. I guess we grow old but energy of dreams always remain, light, playful and at times far fetched.

Having fulfilled 4 of my impossible looking dreams which I dreamt in 2001, now I trust them little more. And I trust the source of them little more.

In this moment, I wish luck for your dreams. And may you discover your soul through your dreams. So dream on a little dreamer, as in dreams we find the kingdome of heaven.

Amen.

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She…

In the thick of the night she wakes up,

and wants me to wake up as well.

She says look at me,

rubs her against me n says “Look at me, love me, I have been waiting to be explored”

I say, you are today here will be gone tomorrow.

Knowing fully well that she will be disappointed.

But i knew her all along and i don’t trust her all the time.

During many nights, she makes me feel like a king,

She entices me fully and i get intoxicated as i entangle deep within her,

as if i have stumbled upon the secret and the most beautiful thing in the world.

She lets me penetrate deep within her,

never resisting, always welcoming my force.

I at times feel i love to explore each of her pore.

But i sense it is her who wants me to explore.

And as she wakes me up again,

I look at her and think of the times.

This is not how she always is,

She has betrayed me many a times,

I am reminded of the time,

When the night was young, she made love.

Took over me fully.

And in the morning she just left.

Leaving no signs of her being there ever.

I think of her memory and smile to myself.

Thinking “Thank god, I didn’t get carried away with her”.

People would have called me a fool.

And i breath a long sigh of relief.

Lately she has been coming again and again.

Trying to show herself to me,

wants me to explore and love her.

But am tired of ages of being called a fool.

And the ridicule that follows.

But this time she doesn’t look like in the mood to deceive me.

But i know in my heart,

that it is me who love to play with her.

She goes to many men,

and entice many.

But no one knows her worth.

May be not even me.

But this time i feel closest to her truth.

Its not that she is looking any different than ever before,

she looks still the same as i saw her first when i was 7 years old.

She hasn’t changed a bit.

But I guess I have,

now I trust myself more.

Ohh forgot to introduce her to you..

Here she is,

She has a wonderful name.

“Inspiration. “

And i love her. 🙂

And you can meet her here in these words,

She is the most beautiful thing in my world.

She keeps me alive and makes me…

Me.

And this moment she asks me to tell you.

I have found mine,

And she hopes you find yours.