Kabakth Zindagi…Dedicated to Ethan Mascarenhas of Guzaarish

Saw “Guzaarish” today. And felt a deep wrenching in my heart. Left the theatre disturbed. Felt deeply stirred and somehow i had to find my center again.

Had to spill out these words…to set myself free again. Selfish, heartless me…Concerned with only one thing. How do I feel at ease again? But i guess am just another human with little longing to feel at ease again.

Its written in hindi…so english readers please pardon or ask your friends who know hindi to translate it for you. Am in no state to do that atleast right now…

This poem is dedicated to Ethan Mascarenhas and what he must have felt at different times especially closer to his death…the lead character of the film.

……….

Kambakth Zindagi

Kabhi bewakqt, bin bataaye dil main chhura ghonpati

Toh kabhi thandi pawan se man ko sehalaati

Kabhi dard ke saaye me duboti,

Khudki karaah, khud hi ko sunane main majboor karati.

Toh kabhi khushiyon ki bearish main geela karati.

Jannat ki sair, sare aam din main karaati.

 

Jitna bhi chaahu tujhe jaanana,

Utnahi mujhe uljhaati.

Kambakth Zindagi.

 

Kabhi apane raaz kholati,

To kabhi sawaalon ke ghere main gira deti,

Kabhi maut koh achaanak le aati

Toh kabhi maut ke liye tarsaati.

 

Jitna bhi chaahu tujhe jaanana,

Utnahi mujhe uljhaati.

Kambakth Zindagi

 

Jab bhi khadaa hota hoon aramaan dil main jagaakar

Toh kabhi giraati,

Toh kabhi sapanon ko sach banakar hawaaon se baate karaati

Kabhi todti, marodati, maarati berahami se

Toh kabhi aansu chalakaati pyaar ke ummad se.

 

Saali zindagi.

Tu kiski kabhi hui nahin hain abtak

Pata nahin kabhi kisike hone ki tamanna bhi hain ke nahin tere dil main

 

Jitna bhi chaahu tujhe jaanana,

Utnahi mujhe uljhaati.

Kambakth Zindagi

 

Tu hogi bahoot khubsurat,

Aur laakho peer  honge teri meher ke aashna,

Lekin ab maut ko maashuq banaane ki tamanna rakhta hoon

Uske meethe kaale saaye main chup chaap sona chaahta hoon.

Agar hain himmat to bachaa le, apne wajood ko mere Jism se.

Aur baandh kar rakh mujhe apane daaman se.

Dekhata hoon aaj kaun jitata hain

Na-maalum tu, ya lachaar main.

 

Kabakth zindagi,

Agar kabhi sadak par milogi jannat ke,

Toh pehele to chura ghopunga tere dil main.

Hath pair tod ke bitha dunga ek kursi par.

Aur phir bataaunga ke jeena kaise hota hain.

Jab khelati ho tum humse.

 

Jitana mere paas aaogi,

Toh dekhkar meri tadap khauff khaaogi.

Main laachaar aur adh-murdaa zaroor hoon

Lekin fir bhi aaj tujh par maat karane ke mansube rakhta hoon

Naa jaane kitannon ne tumse maut ki guzaarish ki hogi.

Aur kitane lachharon par tu hansi hogi.

 

Saali kambakth zindagi

Sirf ekhi tamanna rakhana.

Kabhi galti se bhi mujhse mulakaat na karna.

Chal hat,

Kambakth Zindagi.

Kabhibhi, kabhibhi mujhe paane ki khwaish na rakhana.

 

 

4 thoughts on “Kabakth Zindagi…Dedicated to Ethan Mascarenhas of Guzaarish

  1. Fate, destiny, whatever we call it.. we each get a life with its unique story line. some get the easy straight road, some little curvy.. and some with no roads to travel to. what determines our story line is a whole subject on its own and remains as it is with unanswered questions. while i too agree that giving up on life is not right but what is a life where you’re alive but cannot live? its easy to tell someone who is going through bad time that .. i know how you feel it must be painful but truly none of us can really ever feel that pain.. even if going through the same exact experience.. what we feel is never equivalent to other’s pain..

    i watched the movie and felt every bit of pain expressed through the characters and dialogues.. yet could all only possibly relate to some level and an extent to what so many people go through.. i too wish that there were simple rules for the roads of life assigned to a person.. but who am i kidding.. neither did i create them.. nor can i modify them.. when something happens beyond our control.. all we could do is sometimes fight back, express emotions, give up, get up and fight again.. with the hope that someday soon.. a long beautiful road without hurdles will show up for the long years of life.. someday soon..! Till then.. smile, make the most of whatever good is left within.. and keep trying.. until guzaarish is heard and approved!

  2. I saw this film today on “Netflix”. It was a gripping, sad and happy love story. It was about tradagy that occurs in real life. The story was about a quadraplegic but it applies to all types of a dibilitating condition that millions of people live with every day. Euthanasia was not he focus of this film, in fact, it really played a minor part. It was however, Ethan’s last battle to which he lost.

    The film was outstanding and the actor’s were fantastic. I never thought I would ever enjoy a foreign film that I had to read the scripts on my television, but once I got involved in the plot of this film I was glued to my television.

    My congradulations to all.

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