Its been more than a week and my cat “chi chi” is missing. She has been with me for last 4 years. Must say a great friend, teacher and a loving being. I used to lovingly call her my dog cat, as she had this habbit of licking people like dogs do and cats never do that.
Must say i am feeling sad as i had grown so used to her purring every night i was back at home. She had been a great comforter during times of desparation and frustration. This post is dedicated to her and what i learned from her.
1. Transformation is alive and real…
Before i met “Chi Chi”, she was someone who wouldnt allow anyone to come near her. She would begin to hiss if someone tried to get friendly with her. Same she did with me in the beginning. And one day suddenly she came near me as if to check whether she can trust me. I didnt do anything. And then came the magical moment that she came near me and began to purr. She wanted me to pat her. And i did.
From that day onwards she had been a loving being. Everyone who came over would be welcomed by her.
Many a times, during our lifetime we get bogged down by the way we are, the way the world is. And here was “chi chi”, who transformed herself in a moment. May be teaching me the lesson of lifetime, that each day holds the possibility to transform myself.
2. Acceptance of what is…
As a weak cat, i never allowed Chi Chi to go out of the house. While the other two cats in my house, Jinjoo & Manyu, used to go out at their will. However chi chi was ok with that. She was happy to be in the house. There were times she used to escape and come back. And each time she would go out my heart would sink. I think i used to be too concerned abut how she will be in the outside world filled with people who sometimes hate animals or stray dogs who are always on the prowl of a cat. However each time she came back home, she was fine. Infact sometimes i used to feel she was enriched too with that brief experience of freedom.
3. Love, no matter what…
Recently chi chi had developed a new habit, i dont know why? She would begin to dirty the whole place. And so many a times while leaving house i would close the door of my room. Just to make sure she doesnt enter in my room and spoils it. I thought she would be upset by that like my other cat, Jinjoo. (Jinjoo is one egocentric cat you would not find in this world, closest match to his personality is Garfield).
But Chi chi was ok with i keeping my room door closed. And each night when she would come near. She would purr with the same intensity. There were times i used to be very angry with things happening in my life, but just 10 mins with Chi Chi around used to connect me to the fact, that unconditional love is a possibility for human beings as well.
Her human mother, Manisha was telling me something about cats especially about chi chi. And i was amazed by what i heard. Actually Manisha had adopted “Chi Chi” from her chinese room mate. And when i rented out Manisha’s flat, i began to take care of all the 3 Cats, Jinjoo, Manyu & Chi chi.
So Manisha was saying, that Chi Chi has now gone for good. She was saying that cats have an inner knowing before they are going to die. ANd they dont like to die in the house of their master. It seemed to me that they want to make it easy for their human masters by not allowing them to witness their dear cat’s death. Manisha was saying, cats usually go to a quet place to die and there they wait for their death to come. Manisha had witnessed so many deaths of her cats, that now she knows the process in and out. She said earlier she would feel a lot of pain watching one of her cat dying. However, she began to get a very profound realization that Cats are not afraid of death. Once they know the death it coming, they just await their death patiently.
5. Fulfilling some near to heart desires…
According to Manisha’s Tarrot prediction, (I trust them more than anything else in this world), Chi chi has left house to experience her freedom. For last five years that she stayed with me she had not gone our of the flat even five times. So manisha said before Chi Chi surrenders to death, she would enjoy her freedom to the fullest.
After manisha said that i was easy. At least the fact was comforting that chi chi is happy and she is doing what she wanted to. But still my eyes welled up with tears when she said that. And deep inside i feel that i had a company of one of the most loving beings i had come across in my life for last 5 years. Chi chi whereever you are just know that i had always loved you and will always love you. You will always be a part of me. May you find what you are seeking…
Your Friend and disciple,